Posted on Saturday 1st of August 2020 04:46:02 PM
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Gay men personals: A lot of guys, at first, might think I'm a lesbian, and they would say, "That's not possible," and that makes me feel really bad. And I'm really embarrassed online gay chat that they think that. I really, really want to tell them that it's OK, that I'm actually OK with being a lesbian.
The first time I went to a gay bar , my boyfriend and I had gone there. I was 17, and gay chat rooms I was really nervous. It was just a very strange and uncomfortable thing for me to go into. And I had been at the bar in my normal clothes, but that was not quite the same experience. When I told my boyfriend, he said, "Oh, I didn't see anything. You were wearing a bikini." So then, I went back to the bar, and I was wearing a bikini. And he was like, "Oh, I thought you were in a dress." So I went back out. But the bar I had gone to was a gay bar. So he thought I was still in my bikinis. I was like, "Yeah, so what? I'm a lesbian! But what do you mean by a 'gay bar'?" He said, "That's what you wear in the closet. You can't tell. I mean, I don't know how to describe it, but I see you wearing a bikini." So I was like, "You're right, and that's it." Then I left. I think that was around Christmas. I met a couple of guys who I really liked. But they weren't into the gay bars. It wasn't that they didn't like it. They just weren't into it. They were into going to a gay bar. I think that's the truth. So I was like, "Okay, I'll go to the gay bar first. But I want you to tell me that I don't have to do this, that I can tell you that this is how to do this." They're going to try to do the gay meet gay guys online bar thing, and I can't tell them no, so I'm just going to do it. The first guy in the bar is a nice guy who says hello and says hi to everyone, and then he's like, "Hey, where do you live?" And I said, "It's in the hills." And he says, "Well, I'm moving to the hills." I said, "Great." So we talked a little bit about it, and then I go and I'm like, "Oh! This is what it looks like." And I went and I got a big smile on my face. "Wow!" This was actually the first time I had been to a gay bar. We got the check and it was $100.00. And I'm like, "Wow! That's really cheap!" Then he goes, "Okay, so where you from?" I was like, "Well, I live in the hills." I don't know if he knew gay men sites what it means. I was like, "Yeah, it looks like a little town called Mount Pleasant. I think you can get a ride down there."
So he's like, "Okay." And then we did a little bit of drinking, and then the next thing he does is he goes, "Hey, I need to have a drink." And I go, "Okay," because that's what I said. And he goes, "No, I'm really drunk." I said, "Well, I have to go and I'm just going to take a drink." I went out into the parking lot. And he was like, "Okay, I got you." He got out of his car. He goes, "Okay, here I am." I said, "Okay, I'm taking your drink." And he says, "Well, I just want to make sure that you're okay." I go, "Yeah, that's fine." And he goes, "Okay, but you need to be more careful because I know how much you like to have fun. I'm going to have a drink with this drink and you don't have to take it." He goes, "Well, I'll go back and get you another one." And I'm like, "Okay, you go." He goes, "Okay, go back to your car and I'll take your drink." And that was the last thing he did for me that night.
We are having sex for the very first time. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed and we're trying to talk, and he was like, "Can I come in? I have a problem." He comes in and we're doing it, and it is a very uncomfortable first time for me, but it was good. He is really funny. It was a good first time, and I love being around him, and he's good and smart. We're talking, and he starts to get a little shaky. We had sex for the first time in about five seconds and it was so easy for me because it was my first time, and I could talk to him. And I was like, "I didn't think you were going to fuck me." And he's like, "Oh, it's just a sexual thing." I'm like, "Well, what do you mean?" I had my first sexual experience with my boyfriend and now I had sex with my first gay man, and it was amazing. I was totally fine with it. He says that he loves me, and I said, "What? You're going to gay men singles tell me you love me? I love you." And he said, "No, it's just a thing. He doesn't want to do this. We don't want to get a relationship. He's got other things to do." I was just really happy. I think we are all in the same boat, though. I don't really care what he does as long as I feel accepted in my body and in my own mind. If that means that I have to be attracted to other men to feel really good, then that's just how I am. It is not an issue that I have any particular problem with. He says, "Do you know anything about men's issues?" "Nah, I'm gay dating sites online just going to sit back and let it all play out." I said, "I'm curious. What do you do to keep your masculinity?" He says, "Well, the best thing I do is to just not get involved. If a woman is being disrespectful, I just leave." The other guys on the bus have gotten this. They are all just like that. They're not going to take shit from anyone. They will not take shit from anybody. And the women will respect them for that. If he can get away with that, there's a good chance he won't get involved with anyone. So we go to the next bus, and this guy says, "So this one guy, uh, he's an athlete. He's a wrestler. He's a basketball player. He's a boxer. He's in the NFL. I wanna know how he gets out meeting gay guys online of this situation."
I just said, "Well, what do you want?" He says, "I don't want to get involved with anything."
That's when I said to the boy, "You're going to have to tell me how you got out of that." He's been in my life for a long time and now he says he doesn't wanna be involved, he wants to go and find a boyfriend.