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Why is it important for me to live on Earth? It's because if you don't, you'll never have a chance to find out if you're gay. You could be living in an abandoned building in China and, if you happen to meet a guy there, you could be dating him for the rest of your life. There are so many guys and girls out there who online gay chat are gay. It's such a wonderful place. I was at a friend's house one day and I couldn't believe how beautiful the place was. I thought I was going to have to find an island somewhere to live, but instead I just stayed. That's because it was so much fun. I met these incredible, amazing gay guys. That's how I met my future husband.
We had such great times together. I loved his confidence, he had the same kind of confidence as I did. I loved his honesty, we had a lot of laughs, and we would always just be in each other's company and laughing. He was always so funny, but not always. I mean, he would take a very long time talking about something that he didn't even really care about. But, he was such a good guy, and I loved him so much! When we first met, I never thought I could be with anyone but him. I mean, he was so beautiful, and I was just so afraid that I would find someone just a little bit better. He was so perfect, and he didn't judge anyone, he didn't make it seem like I had any faults, and that he wasn't the one for me. And the more I felt attracted to him, the more I liked him! I had so much of a crush on gay dating sites online him at first, but I felt like I didn't really like myself, and he was so great at making me realize that I did have something to offer to men, and that I liked men. I was able to find other guys to date, and get to know them more, and eventually, we started hanging out a lot. We did get to know each other really well. But, I knew, it wasn't going to be the same as what I was going through with my previous boyfriends. At that time, I was in such an abusive relationship that had ruined my life, and I was really afraid of finding the same thing with him. I tried to keep my head down and just pretend, but the more I got involved with him, the more I was becoming more and more attracted to him. We got along so well, and we made the best of it. He was smart, funny, caring, and just the perfect guy. We were together for a few years, and he made me feel like I was so lucky, that I was able to find such a nice guy who I could fall in love with. He was the first gay man I ever went out with. I started dating him in July of 2009, and we became so close and so comfortable in our relationship gay men sites that I had no intention of letting him go.
One day he got a job offer from a new company that I was considering for my new internship. It was a fantastic opportunity, but I had to make the difficult decision to take the job. He was on the phone with me about it when he got to the bottom line. I was so nervous, but I finally went and took the job. I told my mom, but he was so confident, I was totally in love with him. I even had the best news of all! I have always been gay, but when I was in middle gay men singles school and high school, I never knew how to express it. I just knew I was gay. At the beginning of college, I started to become more active in the gay community. I was always on the receiving end of hate mail, but one day I finally got it. I had been in an intimate relationship for about a year and a half, and this man, who had been in my dorm room for gay chat rooms almost four years, decided that I would be his girlfriend, after I came out. I went back home, and I told him everything. I was so shocked that I couldn't even speak the words aloud, but he didn't care. He was the person that was going to be my husband, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like. He was so happy, and he told me that he'd always wanted to find a wife. He was in a relationship with another guy that had been in the same dorm room for more than four years, and he was in love with him, but he hadn't gone out with him in almost four years. He wasn't attracted to women, and he couldn't imagine what it would be like to have an all-in-one guy that he wanted to be with, to be his everything. And that's what made him so happy. He thought he was the one and only. I was completely shocked. I still feel like that, and I don't want to feel that way anymore. When you get together with a guy, I have no idea what you're thinking. I don't know how you're thinking. You just get on with the thing. That's what it's about.
When I was dating a guy, it was about the things that I wanted. It was a total one-way street and we didn't touch. He knew, or he thought he knew, what I wanted. If it wasn't my thing, it wouldn't be with me. That's a pretty basic truth, but I still didn't know how to go about finding out. The thing is, I didn't even want to know. It was just the fact that he did it without asking, and I did it with all the ease and simplicity of a girl I knew. After a year of trying to have a normal relationship with a guy who never really wanted me, I had to accept it. It was either a gay relationship, or it was one that never really happened. And I was in the latter group.
I had meet gay guys online to realize what was happening, because this was happening, and I didn't even know it. A year ago, we met on a dating site in the same city we had been going to college for two years. I met him in a bar, where we exchanged some small talk, and it became a quick first kiss. I wasn't a virgin, I was in the closet, and I had no idea I was ever attracted to anyone. So I said "hi" and told him what I wanted to do. It was something that I hadn't really done in a while, but I really enjoyed being with someone, and I liked him.