Posted on Wednesday 1st of July 2020 11:53:02 AM
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We have a few gay celebrities on our show. But most of the gay celebs on our show aren't like these. They're real celebrities. They are gay dating sites online all like this. And they don't talk to us at all, they have to leave our show, they leave their shows and they talk to other people. And we think it's totally weird.
So I'm the star of the show. But I've been on it for five years. And it's really hard. I was in a relationship with the guy from the beginning. It was a really good relationship. And then we broke up. He wanted to get married, so we broke up. And I'm thinking, well, what do I do now? You know, it was a long time ago. So I'm thinking, what's my best bet? Do I just let myself get married? And it turns out, it doesn't really matter, because I just got married. And you know, it didn't make a difference. Because we are, like, now best friends. It was really nice. And then I realized I'm not sure where I'm going to live. And I know it's probably going to be kind of crappy. And the whole time, I'm still thinking about the same thing, about what will happen if I get married. And I didn't really have any kind of idea. And the other thing is that I'm kind of worried about, like, a lot of things in my life. I want to be in the music business, but I don't know how to get there. And I feel like I have to. And then I kind of want to get back to being a real person, you know?
So I don't know if you can imagine where I was when I started writing this story. But it was hard to write.
It was kind of like a whirlwind. I had to kind of make a decision right away to leave that life for something different. It wasn't easy. The first year, I was living in New York, in a house that was not very close to where I live now. I wasn't gay chat rooms even close to my place yet. So I started working at a company that was about 10 minutes away online gay chat from where I live. I really needed to leave, so I started living with a guy named Dan.
I met Dan a few months after I moved into his house. We just started going out a little more, and then I moved in with him a couple of months later. I knew meet gay guys online a couple of guys through that. We would walk home from the grocery store, and we would chat for like an hour, and we just hit it off pretty quickly. I didn't really know that was how it worked. I don't know if you remember, but there were all these gay websites on the Internet that had a huge directory of guys. There were a lot of gay guys I wanted to meet, and it wasn't that hard to find them. You know, you'd go online, and the first thing you'd see would be a couple of guys from your area, and then, you just kind of click to find out what they were like. You'd find out their name, their age, where they lived, and then that would bring up all these profiles of guys who had the same profile picture. And so, you would just have an email that you would send to them, and they would respond and say, "Well, I'll have to check that out," and it would come back with like, "Yes, you're right, I will have to check it out." There was a guy called "Rico," and he was one of the guys that I wanted to meet, and I sent him an email, and that was it. He would send me an email at 3:00 in the morning, and it would bring me all the way to Mexico City, to meet up with a guy who had just flown in from California. So there was a guy in New York named "Teddy" who was an ex-girlfriend of mine, and they lived in Mexico City. And it was like he was there because he loved me so much. So he was just like, "What's up, Ricky? I'm in Mexico City. I'm going to see you tomorrow morning at 7:00." So he would tell me this story about how I had saved up all this money and then he just left. That was how I met him. So that was kind of how I met Ricky. He was in that place, and I was like, "Oh. I love you. We're a gay men sites match made in heaven. Oh my gosh, we're perfect for each other." I was just really into the idea of a gay guy. That was our first meeting. So, yeah, I met Ricky. I didn't think we'd get too far. We got to talking, and he was really cool. He'd always said that he was gay, but he hadn't done anything about it. So, in the end, I let it go, knowing that I wouldn't hurt him. I'm sure he would've loved me. He's a very nice guy. That night, he called me up. It was a Friday, and I said, "Hey, it's time." He just said, "Good evening." And we talked. I gay men singles told him that I liked his music, and he meeting gay guys online just told me that he was going to be in Paris that day. We talked for a while. He said, "You're so sweet." I said, "Yeah, and I think I'm going to hang out with my boyfriend, then."
My friends said that it was the best day of their lives. They had a good time. They had so much fun.
After that, we went to Paris with his girlfriend. He was a great guy. We were in a restaurant. He went upstairs and I stayed upstairs, and the guys went downstairs. I had to talk to them. So I said, "Okay, well this is going to be tough, but you all have to agree to talk to me, okay?" And they said, "Yes." And we all agreed. I said, "This is so important to you. I don't care if you hate it. Just come and talk to me." He said, "Okay. I'll come." They all came in, and they all sat down. And I was kind of nervous about them. They didn't know what to say. It's kind of hard for me to be honest, but I just said, "What would you like to do?" They all came up with the same thing, and I thought, "Oh, that's nice." Then the first time they were there, I sat down and I said, "What are the chances I would be dating a gay man?" "About 70 percent." "And?" "Are you gay?" "I'd say yes." "Really?" "Yes." So I didn't feel anything. It was kind of like, "Oh, OK, I guess I'm not gay anymore." Then one day I went to a party and there were a couple of guys there.