Posted on Tuesday 1st of September 2020 12:18:02 AM
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The black lesbian stereotype online gay chat is not just a myth.
There's also been a lot of research done over the past 15 years showing that black lesbianism is not an exclusive minority group. A 2014 study published in the American Journal of Public Health found that, in the United States and Canada, black lesbian relationships are "as common as heterosexual couples, with no discernable difference in their rates of intimate partner violence or sexual behavior."
In fact, the researchers found, black lesbians have the same relationship patterns as straight women and men. However, they also found that they're more likely to be single, and to engage in risky sexual behaviors that can lead to STIs or unintended pregnancies. The study concludes that "African-American lesbians were more likely than other minority groups to have HIV infection or risk of HIV acquisition in their first sex encounter."
"The research clearly shows that it is important to not dismiss black lesbian women as being promiscuous because of stereotypes, but we do gay dating sites online want to highlight that these are just stereotypes," said study author Dr. Joi Ito of the University of New South Wales in Australia. "These stereotypes are not something that has been firmly established in history or in modern culture. These stereotypes are a long way from being the case."
And though the stereotype isn't as widespread as it is in the heterosexual world, some gay men still experience it. One of the most infamous examples is the now-retired porn star and director Ron Jeremy. Jeremy is a prominent gay man who was once married to actress Lillian Gish. But that marriage ended in 2003, when Jeremy's sexuality came into question. "You've seen me as a married man, and a gay man, and I'm the same man to you. I'm gay, I'm married, I'm in love, I'm a man. It's just me. But now, I'm just black." As he revealed to the Advocate, he had a number of black friends, but one black friend told him he would meet gay guys online never understand what being black gay men singles meant until he met a black guy. It's not a new phenomenon, but it was an awkward time for the actor, who grew up white in the Midwest. "I'm really embarrassed to be black," Jeremy said, "because that's what I look like to you." He told the Advocate that it's not until he gets married that he sees the light. "I've come to realize that I'm black for them," he said. "It's not until you're married and you get married and they say that I'm black that I begin to understand." As for black gay men, Jeremy is a huge fan, but they still face a lot of discrimination. "The first thing I do, if I see a black guy, I go, 'Oh my God. Wow, this is an amazing guy," he said. "But I don't do it that way with any other guy, because that's how you end up not being treated the same, or if you're treated the same as a black guy, you're not as black as the average black guy. So I never want to do that."
He added, "I'd love to get to meeting gay guys online the point where I'm the best. I just don't think I can, though."
Jeremy's relationship is the kind that most black guys would never be able to achieve, but it's also a relationship that, for some of the same reasons, isn't talked about. "It's not a good relationship," said Jeremy. "But that's the nature of the beast. You gotta go through it."
He added, "I think it's interesting that the whole gay thing is just now starting to be discussed. When I first started dating the guy, I was thinking, 'This is so gay!' and I didn't want to do it. Then I thought, 'This is what we do for fun. This is what we're into. And it's a good thing. We're going to be successful. We're gonna have great times. But, I think it's great that a lot of the people gay chat rooms who think it's gay aren't getting it!'
There are a lot of gay guys who think, 'I think of it like I am a girl. I'm a chick that wears a dress and has a boyfriend, I don't want to be like that. That's not gay men sites what I am.' I'm the opposite of that.
So I am going to put on my red lipstick and I'm going to walk down the street with my boyfriend, my boyfriend is going to ask me out, 'Hey babe, you want to go out with a guy? Yeah, I'll go to my place and I'll go down to a bar and I'll have a good time. We can just hang out.' That's what I'm going to do with my boyfriend, it's going to be a normal gay bar. We're going to sit in a corner, we're going to eat something, have some drinks, have a conversation and do some things that are normal and just like a normal thing.
I've never been in a club, I've never been to a club where the guys were like, 'Oh, let's go have some fun.' We go to a gay bar, you know? I've never been with anybody who had a girlfriend. I think they think I'm a girl, or I'm not really gay but we do a lot of things together and I'm like, 'What are you guys doing, why are you in this kind of place? Why are you sitting here, this is like the wrong place.' I have friends that go to gay bars with their girlfriends and they all get out, they don't go down to these gay clubs. They just get out and they have a good time and they talk about their friends and what's going on in their lives and I think a lot of gay guys, they feel like it's like they are in a nightclub. I don't care if I am dating a guy or not, I will do a lot of things. I will not be just a girl with a boyfriend, I will always be a girl. I will have a little bit of a relationship with a guy. I have friends who are friends with guys, and I know they have girlfriends. They will not date a guy, they will just keep their relationship as it is with the guy. I just think this country has some issues that are not just that we don't have gay marriage, we also have interracial dating and a lot of other things, and I just feel like it's important for all of us to understand what is going on in this country. I don't think that we should be in the business of creating an environment where people have to be in this condition to survive. If you are going to be a part of our society, you better take advantage of it. I know that I don't have to explain this to anyone who has never heard of a gay marriage.